Wait for the right time… your time has not arrived yet … your time will come…. everybody has their own life clocks …. etc etc etc… yes, all of us get emails and videos quoting these statements. Motivational gyan being dispersed on Linkedin, Facebook, tiktok and the likes.
I get on an average 2 such videos/quotes per week and my first reaction is ….what utter nonsense???? Uhhh sorry if I have offended anyone. Apologies upfront. Why I consider this as utter nonsense is because these are feel-good statements with no substance.
The quote “only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches“ is the harsh reality. You tell a 29 year old still struggling to build a career that his/her time hasn’t come, don’t get disheartened, it will happen when the time is right… really!!!. When he/she sees their classmates earning 200k per month, will this gyan cheer him/her? Similarly, you tell a student who has repeatedly failed his entrance tests to give up on his/her dream as he/she has an option of joining the family business or becoming a housewife because maybe their time to succeed hasn’t arrived yet!!!!…. Does it make any sense? Does their sense of failure and the pain of a shattered dream lessen in intensity??
No, it does not. It hurts when a person is unsuccessful, it is depressing when careers fail to take off or go downhill…. It pains when startups fail… this is the harsh reality. There is no point in sugarcoating it and giving baseless empty statements like …. “You are not alone” or “Time is a healer”.. sheer nonsense.
The person in that circumstance is the one who is going through it. It is very easy to sympathize but have we ever tried to empathize or even honestly work with the person, give our time and energy to help him/her look for a solution or deal with the issue from a practical standpoint?
Put your hand on your heart and then answer, how many of us have gone that extra mile and really helped in healing the friend/colleague or a relative when they were going through such mind-numbing and devastating circumstances.
Life is a complicated interwoven web of circumstances, fate, desires, dreams, failures, and dejections. Even an Electrocardiogram (ECG) signifies a straight line as the termination of life. So, each day, each second will have ups and downs. It will throw in new challenges; it is bound to happen and there is no escaping it. The only choice that we have is to either “lay down our weapons and let circumstances ravage us” or “accumulate the dissipated vestige of strength inherent in all of us” and fight.
I fully agree, sometimes this is next to impossible as the situation may seem irreversible, irremediable, and hopeless. But then, what to do…. can one live in perpetual penury … or does one lose out on one’s sanity or look at terminating one’s existence? Even the most dismal circumstances have a silver lining. It is up to us to muster the courage and look beyond the overwhelming suffocating circumstances and find the faint but existing silver lining.
For the sake of argument, let us for a moment hypothetically decide to let the situation be as is…ok done….so what will happen?… the suffering is likely to increase and we will end up losing our cognitive abilities and end up either in a mental hospital or on the streets… plausible scenario??
The physiological needs are hard-wired in our DNA and we would still eat, drink, and sleep despite losing our minds or going into the throes of depression. This will make people who love us and care for us undergo endless suffering. But why, think about it?? Why give up??
Yes, life may be tough but time is ever flowing and circumstances are ever-changing. Human life is a gift, it’s a blessing as we have the ability inherent in us to live our life the way we want to.
Ok …. career hasn’t taken off, money is a problem…fine understood… so???.. you are educated right? what stops you from giving evening tuitions??… think! maybe there is an alternative profession that is more suited for you…take a step back … think about what exactly is the problem… Money? Power? Status? Society? Relatives? What is it that is bothering you and making you miserable… once you narrow it down then you will find a way to tackle the immediate and most important issue… others will be relegated to “good to have” rather than “must to have” solutions.
The so-called society and fair-weather friends will not stand by you when you are down and under but your family and a true friend will. At the end of the day, only those individuals matter, rest all are transient and will fade away, so why bother…
I am writing this today as I see an increasing incidence of self-doubt, depression, behaviour issues, intolerance, false egos in young adults and even in professionals in the 30-45 age category.
The societal standards and the false facades being put up have made life artificial, empty, and meaningless. Individuals are just running towards a mirage that has been advocated by people who may not even matter or be there with them when required.
Ladies and gentlemen, guys and girls…. This is your life… it is yours to live. No one said it would be easy but it is a blessing. You need to decide how you live … being perpetually miserable and waiting for happiness…. constantly running after societal standards of money, more money and then again more money….. keeping the empty façade of happiness even in emotional turmoil ….. or accepting the hand that you have been dealt with and making the most of it by drawing on your inner strength.
We are human beings, we are blessed with a mind/brain…. that can think …. rationalise and then give us the strength to fight the world and yet be happy.
Happiness is a choice and not an event, a paraplegic can also be happy if he/she chooses to be and a wealthy healthy human can be depressed and suicidal on things like fewer followers on Linkedin 😉 or missed promotions, less increment….work stress ……
So, choose how you want to live… be positive… some circumstances are determined by fate, and can’t be influenced but have to be accepted, so accept it…. but choose on how to do so. Time is a constant and is the same for everybody… there won’t be a better or worse time… what is at present is what it is. You must accept it and then decide on how you would deal with it.
At the end of the day, it is you and your family and your closest friends who are what will matter, and the most important thing …. work on being happy and work on making the people who matter happy too.
Trust me, this will make your life worth living…. So, live your life to the fullest and fill it up with as much happiness as you can gather. 😊
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