Desires are never-ending. Every breath we take, every thought that passes through our mind gives birth to a new desire. I wish my skin looked better, my skin tone was a shade lighter, hey I wish I get promoted this time, I want to buy that blue pair of shoes, wish I could own a solitaire and the list with a mish-mash of these thoughts keep getting appended.
However we may think or try and portray ourselves as satisfied and non-materialistic..but is it really the case?
A shout-out to people who like alcohol…. So how many of you desire a “Blue Label”….and aspire to own a bottle????. To us teetotallers, red blue green all labels are well labels huh…OK OK.. don’t give me the exasperated expression but trust me I have zero clue of all Scotch whiskeys and their hierarchical pedestals.
So was it really your desire to own a bottle of “Blue Label” in the first place and were you really happy with owning one? How come showing it to someone like me who has no clue about alcohol and cannot appreciate it, the pride of owning a “Blue Label” dissipated? Upon me showing you 500k worth of solitaires worn by me, your “Blue Label” ownership went into oblivion and you became forlorn on not having something similar to boast about. So, what did this ownership of an ultra-expensive, ultra-refined, super-luxurious whisky brand actually do for your happiness…
The point here is … when desires are fuelled by an external stimulus like being better than the next cool dude or Ms. Fashionista, they may not be a desire originating from your heart but rather a superfluous juxtaposition of a wish arising out of the need to be recognized by the society as someone who has arrived in life.
Does the statement sound hollow? How shallow? How ridiculous? How illogical right? So then why are we running after “Blue Labels” of the world, why wearing a solitaire is so important….why are we stressing about a new SUV a classmate or a neighbour bought???? Huh! I don’t wanna sound like the Baba’s on devotional channels but.. isn’t it food for thought?
OK no Gyan, let’s superimpose this thought to a real-life scenario. Let’s imagine that we are at an alumni reunion and you are the only one arriving in a swanky expensive and luxurious car. Wow! cool! right??? Everyone is looking at you with envy coursing in their veins and you are on cloud nine, see I am someone big and powerful, hey Respect me, come one envy me, yes yes yes look at me….desire fulfilled huh? … Yeah Cool great super perfect!
But then a classmate comes and asks you on how do you take care of your parents since you are abroad or how come you have put on so much weight that you are looking way older than them. Hey, you married for 10 years aren’t you looking to have babies? Hey why aren’t you married yet… aren’t you way past your prime…ouch, that hurts right.
Plausible questions? Now tell me where is the happiness quotient now, The superfluous desire for materialistic pleasures resulted in a transient bubble of happiness that you experienced with your swanky car and designer clothes but it just dissipated right…. so now what? Dejection, anxiousness, self-consciousness, or depression…maybe yes maybe not but certainly a U-turn of the euphoric emotional state experienced earlier…..
The point here is that as an individual surrounded by materialistic pleasures fueled by the subconscious desire to be respected and admired, we have become money-earning machines. The race to be the number one has somehow made us neglect things that maybe are the ones that give us happiness or create rich memories.
Rather, believe it or not, most of us don’t even know what we really want. We are blindly running behind a dream that is borne out of so-called societal norms. Do we really want it? is it what our heart and soul craves? Has any of us really thought about what is it that makes us really happy? I am not advocating philosophy or gyan or sermonizing. I am just saying, we have one life, have we thought about how we want to live it and not how society wants us to live?
How many of us have missed birthdays because we wanted to impress our supervisor by working late in the office? How many of us have worked on weekends to get brownie points instead of going out with friends and family? Or how many of us skip meals quoting “busy in work” as the excuse? How many of us have lost touch with friends or rather how many of us still have friends left whom we can talk to without the fear of being ridiculed or backstabbed?
All of us so-called high performers are guilty of this and I am no exception. I have missed 1000’s of lunches in the office or have skipped dinners multiple times because of being too tired post work or being too frustrated with the day gone by…but looking back, it all seems a blur and I actually don’t recall what I achieved by doing that. Did it really matter…couldn’t 10 minutes be taken out for a quick bite…if I really wanted to?
Upon reflection I think I was actually pretty happy, getting on a train to go home. I recall the memories of playing with my infant nephew, I recall cooking samosas the whole Sunday and having samosa party for lunch…these are the memories that I cherish and they bring a smile on my face. My work, my colleagues, my neighbour, my classmates actually left no deep-seated imprints on my memories. So, why neglect a family who loves you, a child who wants you to play with you, a dog who yearns for your affection, and parents who want to discuss the neighbourhood mish-mash? …why? because you are too busy..bah…that’s an excuse if you really think about it.
So, to all working overly busy overachievers, do what gives you happiness. Take time off for yourself, life will pass you by and you will realize it once you miss the bus.
Work hard, work smart…..I am not advocating that you do not give your 100% to your profession, I am just saying take a step back and think..what makes you happy…you will be surprised at what your inner self would tell you.
Things like having a chilled lemonade and playing with your dog on a Saturday morning may rejuvenate you, or catching up with an old friend talking about old crushes, and reminiscing about strict teachers can brighten your day. Even lazing around and eating junk food can make you happy.
So all of you working professionals and overworked stay-at-home mom-dad….. think, what is more important…this superfluous desire to be the “one” as per so-called societal standards or being happy and contented in the company of people who matter, having a good night’s sleep, sitting in the lap of nature listening to the chirping of birds…..or any such activity which fills your heart with love…..Any thoughts??? Anyone????
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