“Interpersonal skills” feature prominently as a desired characteristic in almost every JD (Job description) that I have come across. Most of the people in interviews list it as their strength. This terminology may sound pretty technical as a skillset but simply put, it means the skill of communicating verbally or non-verbally, a skill to put your point across in a simple straightforward manner acceptable to the other person to whom the communication is directed at.
The art lies in amicably being an effective communicator across hierarchies and disciplines. the reason why it is stressed by the management so much is that one cannot work in silos and taking the buy-in from cross-functional as well as within function teams in decisions makes it easier for implementation.
Let’s now come to the practical applicability of the interpersonal skillset. Like I said the skillset pertains to the ability to have effective communication so we will delve deeper into this aspect.
Communication can be verbal (with words) as well as non-verbal (expressions and body language) in nature. Both aspects are equally important.
Verbal communication:
In this form of communication, the skill lies in choosing the right words to express yourself. The communication should be polite, and to the point with the desired outcome clearly stated.
When addressing a group, the requirements from each department/representative are to be clearly spelled out along with any timelines or conditions as may be applicable. The brief is to be complete in all respects and should be thought through. The outcome should be role clarity to each member of the group to whom the communication was directed at.
Your tone sets the context. You may either be neutral, authoritative, submissive, harsh, snobbish, friendly, or conciliatory. People react to the tone of voice rather than the actual sentence. A sentence can be the same but the reaction of the person to whom it is directed would differ on account of the tone used. Let me explain this with the help of an example, Say you need the project dashboard to be updated, now in the meeting you can either say with authority “I need this dashboard updated by 3 p.m.”, now if you are the boss people would do it though begrudgingly but if you are not, you would get their defenses up and most of them would not do it just because their ego won’t let them.
Now, similar is the requirement of the dashboard update, you may say in a neutral tone – “I want this done by 3:00 p.m. so all of us can be on the same page, this will help us manage the deliverables better, contact me or my team for any clarification or help but the deadline is 3 p.m. and we will have to release the dashboard with whatever updates we have. We request your cooperation.” you may think such a long line in place of just I want this done or 3:00 p.m. and it is a deadline- what can be clearer or more to the point? yes, it is to the point- no doubt about it, but trust me getting a cross-functional team to work and deliver is not a cakewalk, you have to be polite, subtly massage egos and still get your point across that in case they don’t deliver on time, you would release the dashboard with or without updates – which is what the moot point of the whole rigmarole was; so effective communication isn’t just short and crisp but should also be capable to get the job done.
so the concept of verbal communication I hope is clear, now let’s tackle the non-verbal communication issue as most of the alienation happens due to this aspect of interpersonal skillset.
Non-verbal means what gets conveyed through body language, facial expressions, eyes, gestures, mannerisms etc… A stare can communicate much more than a yell in case a reprimand is to be issued. Similarly however polite your words are, if your body language is arrogant it would alienate people and therefore lead to interpersonal issues hence the focus of this skill set is on both verbal as well as non-verbal communiqués.
Prejudices and biases create a lot of issues both inter as well as intra departments/disciplines. People inherently decide on how to communicate with a person based on gender, appearance, religion, social strata, diction, state, race so on and so forth, and that too even without knowing the person thereby potentially creating a recipe for disaster.
In order to safeguard against these pre-conceived prejudices, organizations conduct induction sessions so as to induce team spirit and a sense of belongingness in the people. This to an extent helps in subconsciously conditioning people to treat colleagues as equals and avoid pre-existing biases.
Interpersonal skills are not just about communicating one’s point across. Effective communication involves active participation in the discussion of which active listening is an integral part.
Listening skills are what most professionals are deficient in due to an inherent need of a human being to share his/her viewpoint first. In this race of putting one’s stand across, one tends to ignore the message spoken by others thereby creating a communication fiasco.
Last but not the least, let’s throw some light on three major ancillary constituents of interpersonal skills namely negotiation, problem-solving, and decision making.
In any professional environment, at each hierarchical level, one is faced with decisions that need to be taken however major or trivial in nature. Each decision has an impact maybe on systems, processes, or human beings and is, therefore, a thought-through process.
Decisions are not stand-alone and therefore inter and intra-disciplines interact thereby making interpersonal skills the core for effective decision making. Similarly, problem-solving requires discussions, debates, a lot of listening, clarity of communication, and an unwavering focus so interpersonal skills form the base on which the problems are solved.
Negotiation skills are pretty wide in their utilization, be at your neighborhood subzi wala (vegetable seller) or a company acquisition in the boardroom. The scale may wary but the fundamentals remain the same. Listen, understand, find your leeway and make your move. Non-verbal communication carries more weight here as understanding the body language would make one understand the weak spot on which the stress can be given to turn the tables.
So all in all interpersonal skills are not rocket science and all of us have them, practice them in some form or the other in our daily lives, but to consciously understand its dynamics and utilize them to their full potential makes the difference between knowing them and applying them.
So do build up these skills by practicing them in your personal and professional lives and of course, do mention them as a core skill in your resumes and think through a few instances of their utilization to quote the same in interviews.
